How can I take care of you when I can’t take care of myself?
|me during shower time:||What is my mission here on earth? What would have happened if Hitler got killed before he started the war? What if is there's a bigger force controlling us right now?|
|me almost falling asleep:||I think I've solved the mystery of Atlantis and the cure for cancer and starving in Africa and the problems for all bad things in the universe|
|me during the day:||how do I spell house?|
I’m so sick of being treated so badly because I gained some weight. People just look down at me and I can tell what they’re thinking without anything being said at all. I feel empty and ashamed of myself because I know that even my own mother thinks I am ugly. I just hate myself. And I mean that in the most literal way possible. I am so upset with myself and who I have become. Not only because I am fat, but because I push everyone away. I’ve made it almost impossible for anyone to love me just for the simple fact that I am not happy. I am insecure and unhappy about myself. About life. About everything.Only thing I am sure of right now is the fact that I AM losing weight. I am getting my fat ass up and going to the damn gym. That is all there is to it. Hopefully I can learn how to be happy again. I’m tired of being rude. I want to be kind. I want to be me again. I want my life back. And I want everyone who looks down on me out of it.